


The Warmth Within

by sarahoftarth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, soft sad soft sandwich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23351056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahoftarth/pseuds/sarahoftarth
Summary: Jaime does some thinking on the beach.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 21
Kudos: 100





	The Warmth Within

**Author's Note:**

> Some random fluff just because. Soft at the start, a bit of a rollercoaster in the middle but soft at the end :3

* * *

The sound of the waves relaxed him, his eyes closed and his breathing synced with tides as it washed upon the shore. He was content for the first time in his life, Jaime could exhale and not feel the panic rising in his body, the constant tightening of his chest loosening with every day he was there.

Tarth.

The Sapphire Isle.

The home of his wife, then him and now their daughter.

Joanna laughed somewhere in front of him, a most joyous sound that filled him with happiness. It had his chest tightening in a whole different way, a way that he welcomed and needed. She ran, her little feet leaving prints in the sand, her golden curls floated behind her.

Her arms spread wide as she ran into the arms of her mother, strong arms that lifted her high in the air and span her until even Jaime felt dizzy. He knew what it felt like to be in those arms, have them wrapped so tightly around you that it was hard to breathe but somehow needed them tighter.

Brienne’s face lit up when her daughter ran towards her, chanting for Jo to run faster, quicker, the urgent need to feel the warmth of her love. She spun them, round and round, wriggling her fingers into Jo’s sides until she was shrieking. Little arms clinging to her, tiny fingers gripping her skin.

Jaime watched his wife’s head tip back, a braying laugh loudly mixing with their daughter’s innocent one, it shouldn’t work but he couldn’t imagine a better combination of sounds.

To think that he could have missed out on this still looms in his brain, the guilt he bares is still fresh in his mind years later, punishing himself for something that didn’t even happen.

His shoes were tied and his bag was packed, stood at the bottom of the bed watching Brienne while she slept. He planned to go during the night so that she couldn’t stop him, couldn’t face the sadness in her eyes, the disappointment with himself was too much to deal with. He didn’t want to go, gods what he would do to crawl back into the warmth with her, but he had to. Born together die together, that’s how it was always going to be, their connection unbreakable regardless of the miles between them.

He was ready, no turning back now, his horse waited for him in the stables.

But he couldn’t move, his feet felt like bricks, unable to lift them from their place. It was time, he had to go now, it would soon be sunlight and he needed to make ground before she had a chance to follow him!

His feet however didn’t agree with him, he even reached down and tried to lift them himself. His frustrated growl woke her, her head raised from her pillow, turned to face him with confusion.

‘’What are you doing? Why are you dressed?’’ Brienne sat up; the furs fell from her chest and pooled at her waist.

Jaime averted his eyes, he couldn’t look at her, she would make him stay.

‘’Cersei-‘’ was all he muttered, the bile rising in his throat.

Brienne rose from the bed, her feet padding on the floor until she was stood in front of him. Miles of pale skin warmed by the flickering fire beside them, her hand scorched his arm, he could feel it through his layers of leathers.

His eyes followed the length of her arm, the span of her chest until her face came into view. Blue, drowning in blue every time, the intensity was hypnotising.

‘’Come back to bed Jaime’’ Her soothing voice, so tempting, pulling him in. This is why it had to be while she slept.

Jaime’s head shook, his eyes not back at his feet clouded by tears. ‘’Can’t’’ and ‘’Need to leave’’ was all he could manage.

Brienne sighed beside him. ‘’I think it would be best to go in the morning, take the night to plan it thoroughly’’

He blanked, that was not the reaction he was expecting. He was speechless, why wasn’t she upset?

‘’Aren’t you tired? How long have you been awake?’’ Brienne continued to speak while he fought internally.

Questions kept spewing from her mouth until he couldn’t think straight… and he was tired… maybe she was right. Maybe in the morning would be better.

He nodded. ‘’Fine, in the morning’’

Brienne helped him undress, her fingers expertly untying his fastenings, the heat of the fire drew nearer with every layer they removed until he was naked like her. Her hands held his face as she leant in to kiss him, trailing down until she held his hands and guided him to back to their bed.

Drifting off to sleep enveloped in her warmth, Jaime repeated to himself: tomorrow.

… But somehow, it never happened.

When he woke, Brienne was tiptoeing back into their room, her eyes a little red. Jaime knew she had been crying, of course she had, he was planning on leaving her.

As the morning progressed, the subject never got brought up, every he would try and bring it up someone or something would distract him. Jon urgently needed him to help plan their attack on the capitol, needing to know secret ways to breach the walls. Tyrion was feeling extremely reminiscent on their childhood, stealing him away for a goblet of wine or two. Lady Sansa borrowed his ear for a while, she spoke of Brienne and their relationship, how much she had changed since his arrival.

It wasn’t until he was walking back to their room that he had noticed that most of the day had already gone, the sky turning orange casting colour on the colourless Winterfell. He stood and basked in it for a second until the warmth of arms surrounded him.

Hands again leading him away from his thoughts, to the hall where they all shared their evening meal, more wine was drunk and then Brienne was whisking him to bed with her sweet kisses and travelling hands. Only this night he never woke in the middle, his head hit the pillow and it didn’t leave until the morning, rolling over to find Brienne.

Winterfell seemed to need him, there was always something he was busy doing, someone called his name everywhere he turned.

Some years later Jaime found that it was Brienne’s doing, of course it was, that morning she had tiptoed back into their room she was returning from Lady Sansa. She had told her of his plans to leave, to return to his sister. Between them they had planned to keep him busy, to keep his mind occupied so that he couldn’t think of leaving.

Deep down Jaime knew that he didn’t _want_ to leave, he would have spent the rest of his life with Brienne if he could have and that’s why Brienne did what she did. When Tyrion revealed her the plan to him, he told him that Brienne knew he didn’t want to leave, that was her main goal; to show him that it was okay to stay – to want to stay.

And so he stayed, in Winterfell, with Brienne.

Until it was time for them to leave, for Brienne to return home with Jaime in tow.

When they wed, they agreed that they would take Brienne’s name, Jaime was through with the curse that was the Lannister name. He had left his past behind him and he was ready to be Jaime, just Jaime, well Jaime Tarth officially. He liked how it felt on his tongue, short and sweet. He especially liked how it sounded when Brienne said it.

‘’This is my husband, Jaime Tarth’’ Brienne would say when she introduced him and his heart would flip flop inside his chest. Her hand would tighten around his, keeping him grounded because he would most definitely float away if not.

Jaime would still thank Brienne years for distracting him, thank her for not letting him leave. He wanted to stay he just needed someone to show him how.

He never could have imagined his life could be like this, to love and to live so freely. To be a husband, to love her endlessly, watching her take her role as the Evenstar. Pregnancy became her, a miracle that Jaime was allowed to be a part of all the way through. Becoming a father, holding his own daughter in his arms seconds after she were born, for her to fall asleep against his chest while tiny snores filled his ears. Watching her grow, first steps and first words, Brienne was beside him all of the way through it. He never knew it was possible to love so deeply.

Joanna was now running towards him, her arms wide just like they had been towards her mother and he had welcomed her with open arms, just as Brienne did.

‘’Why are you crying?’’ Innocent eyes stared up at him.

He didn’t notice, somewhere along the line of his thoughts a few tears had escaped.

‘’Are you sad?’’ Jo continued.

Jaime shook his head and smiled. ‘’I’m not sad, I’m happy. So very happy’’

Brienne sat down beside him, kissed him on the cheek, her hand come to rest around his shoulder. _Unbelievably_ happy Jaime thought, listening to Jo ramble from her perch on his knee, her hands waving through the air as she spoke to her parents.

The warmth of the sun shone down on them as they sat on the beach of Tarth but it couldn’t compare to the warmth Jaime felt in his heart. Every day that he spends with his wife and daughter, his heart glows a shade warmer.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!  
> Love, Sarah x  
> -  
> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://sarahoftarth.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/sarahoftarthh)


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